giNZ

This is some crazy journey we call life...
I've found that when someone I love passes away, I don't get as sad as I used to; it's just one journey ending for somebody, all the same I still miss sharing this life, this adventure, with that person. But there will be other trips with them, I just have to be patient.
Lately, and I mean the last few years, I've been so lazy. Even today; just being lazy in the fact that I don't take those chances to go on adventures. I know that when I take the chance and get off my ass and actually live a little that it's always fun, and I always do something I didn't think I'd end up doing. And that's fantastic! However, lately, there always seems to be some excuse slowing me down. Others are out living, so why aren't I? It's not to say that I don't, but that I just sit here wishing I had the guts to do it.
Messaging back and forth to Krista, I realized how much I miss that last little bit of high school, all the riding and buggering around and broken hearts and happy times. There are more great times to be had, more bad ones too, just gotta get out and do it.

On the subject of life; live. Why do people get offended/try to change others/judge/settle?? To each their own, right. God is out there in some form, it just appears differently to everybody else. I strongly dislike missionaries, that try to change ancient religions in obscure countries. What is wrong with letting people have their own beliefs and traditions without fucking it up with what you think they should think? Argh. Bit of a rant here.

The past year there has been a lot of Ginny Work done. Trying very hard to develop on my own, be just me, not worry about what others want me to do, try everything so I know what I truly like to do. And it's the best thing I've ever done with my time! I just realized I ask way to many questions in my write-ups, to know one in particular. Just throwing them out in the universe I suppose! No more lists, unless they can be easily deleted on the internet :)

One thing I know is that I do much better in warmer climates haha! This coldness is wearing me down. Don't get me wrong, I love the rain; it makes each day a bit more interesting when you tend to do your work outside, but some hot weather and warm ocean water would be nice for a change. So where do I run away to for the summer.... Ireland. I obviously don't have it all figured out yet.

Each day my life gets more and more uncluttered. I got through boxes and throw out old 'to-do' lists that I wrote years ago, and for whatever reason stuffed back in a box. Or clothes that don't fit quite right/that I don't feel comfortable in. I organize photographs and keep only the best ones. I throw books that I don't read anymore into a pile so that someone else can enjoy them and pass them on. It feels marvelous, almost like a mini-life makeover each time I do it.

So, regardless, onwards with this crazy journey. Ireland is Stop Number Four of Some Signifigance in this lifetime. This has been some ride so far, it can only get better or worse. And I don't care, so long as I can hang around on this planet for several more decades.

It's time to travel! I'm so excited about everything, getting on the plane; meeting my temporary family; drink a lot of beer; take tours around an ancient castle; exploring Ireland (yep, that's right, Ireland is my summer home for 2007!)
Why didn't I do this earlier? I know I went to New Zealand, but I should've gone away sooner, when Guy suggested we do a trip to Maccu Piccu, tour around Nica on a sailboat, and then who knows what. I need to get away, to get the fuck out of Qualicum, and although I'll miss hiking and swimming and hanging out here over the summer, I'm SO going to enjoy my Irish adventure. If time and money allows, I might even try to get to Istanbul and Petra if I can work out enough time off. Sure, I've planned on coming back for school in the fall, but maybe I'll just stay away for a few years.
It doesn't scare me at all to go away, to do this, to be free!! The title of this is a quote from a wise man (matt harding) talking about being stuck in a cubicle. I may not be stuck in a cubicle, but I sure am stuck. In the worst way.
www.ashford.ie
www.rideatashford.com

This is going to be great!!! :D

She wants to stand at the edge
And shout that she's somewhere
She's never been before.
To Sail away on the energy of the sea,
To float, or glide, to a new adventure.
Everything new, better, Bolder
Even if she's already seen it.
Across that water lies a romance, a friendship,
a love (?), maybe just with the earth itself.
She used to hurt, to pine, to feel rejected,
But all the is that is now dust; gone.
Now there is no tingle of emotion,
Except bliss and possibility.
Things will get better.
There is always a second, a third, or tenth chance
to start again.
Always.
She wants
To stand at the edge,
And let everyone know she's
Somewhere she's never been before.

-Ginny McLane

It's taken a bit of thinking, some lecturing, a LOT of life (me) work, for a long time, and now there's a few rules that I've put in place:

1) Travel more. MUCH more.
2) Hang out with my good friends.
3) No more Rod and Gun. Ugh.
4) No more one night stands.
5) Ride if I get the opportunity, if I'm getting paid, and can get to the barn easily.
6) Save some friggin' money and curve those spending habits.
7) Get outside at anytime for anything.
8) Read, write, play my guitar, anything but turn on the TV.
9) Stick to my run program, once this flu is gone.
10) Live Laugh Love. (so cliche)

That's most of the NGP.

In other news, Andrew Barbour died on the 28th of Feb... I went to TOSH with him WAY back in the day, meet him again courtesy of Trish a few weeks ago, and now he's dead. Kinda odd, but I'm going to the funeral with Trish anyways next weekend. My cousin Andrew McLane was good friends with him too. Sad, but not sad enough to put me in the doldrums.
Angela's going to Vegas next week and I wish I could do something like that. Man, would that be fun!
Oh and my forestry interview went very well, but you never know with these things. If I don't get a job with them then I'm applying to the Town of QB for work this summer before heading to school in the fall. It's reassuring to realize that each day i think of becoming a Geographer in any respect, I get more excited! Finally, some STICK TO IT NESS. www.semesteratsea.com (spring 2008) is a thought, but a bit expensive.
I want badly to get back to Thetis but it's tough to get around without a vehicle. I miss Guy and Leslie, Ben, Tim, Pete, Iris, et all. "Thetis Writings" Stories and Brewhaha. hehe

"Maybe you can think about all the times you said the word 'never'" -MGB

GGAA 2008 Might turn into GGATW 2008! On a boat! Let's go!

THE SONG OF WANDERING AENGUS

by: W.B. Yeats

WENT out to the hazel wood,
Because a fire was in my head,
And cut and peeled a hazel wand,
And hooked a berry to a thread;

And when white moths were on the wing,
And moth-like stars were flickering out,
I dropped the berry in a stream
And caught a little silver trout.

When I had laid it on the floor
I went to blow the fire a-flame,
But something rustled on the floor,
And some one called me by my name:
It had become a glimmering girl
With apple blossom in her hair
Who called me by my name and ran
And faded through the brightening air.

Though I am old with wandering
Through hollow lands and hilly lands,
I will find out where she has gone,
And kiss her lips and take her hands;
And walk among long dappled grass,
And pluck till time and times are done
The silver apples of the moon,
The golden apples of the sun.

Number One:
ALWAYS go out the door looking fabulous.
Number Two:
ANYTHING looks good on a resume.
Number Three:
You DO NOT need a man.

Some advice from Sue Mitchell :D

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.

High Flight
Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long delirious, burning blue,
I've topped the windswept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or even eagle flew -
And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod
The high untresspassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand and touched the face of God.

Pilot Officer Gillespie Magee
No 412 squadron, RCAF

I need to get out of here quick. I've made the change to my person, now it's time to get rid of the living situation. In Nanaimo preferably, but who knows where I'll ACTUALLY end up??
And a vehicle would help. But you need the job to get the vehicle, or a co-signer for the loan to get the vehicle. Fuck.
Life goes on!! Yay!

Today Binky learned that peeing in the potted palm in the bedroom is not a good idea.

Sassy learned that cutting in front of me on the lunge line is a scary, and painful, idea.

Strider learned that the shock collar is on hiatus without it's batteries.

Sue accidently learned how to whallop Strider with a mop.

Sergio learned all about maxi pads (Always), including how to attached them to his dog's panties. (Don't ask)

And finally I learned that horses noses bleed from one nostril when inflicted with some sort of injury or abrasion, and from two nostrils is the blood vessels are broken.

It's been an interesting day...
but a wonderful one.

Women are like apples on a tree. The best ones are at the top of the tree.

Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of
falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the
ground that aren't as good, but easy.

The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough
to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men....Men are like a fine wine.

They begin as grapes, and it's up to a women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.


Happy 2007!

Life lately reminds of a favorite quote of mine:
"Where are we going? And why am I in this handbasket??"

Seriously though.
What do I do to deserve this shit? And that's not just me asking now, that's the whole crew here asking!
Like, WTF mate.
It's a damn good thing I wasn't crazy about Blake, because he's now back with his ex and 'very happy'. I'm not sad about it, but their timing was immpeccable. Absolutley un-freakin'-believeable.
OH WELL>
Life goes on. And on, and on and on and on.....

I did it!

I ACTUALLY got off my ass and finished my cover letter for the BC Wildfire Fighters application! THEN I actually sent it! How cool is that? haha
Been seeing Blake a fair bit, things are going alright. Not sure if the relationship thing fits yet though... it's kinda weird. Never been treated like a lady...?
Piano and guitar are going well too. So is my riding (do less, expect more) Ann Mackintosh and Theresa are listening to Jesus lol Uh, we have some new weird nicknames going around here...
Things are good. The past is taking some time to get over, but one day it won't hurt anymore. Right?

Oh yes, replace one 'dog' with another: http://www.bigheartrescue.com/abby.htm So to speak of course.

Too much snow!

We take our work very seriously here at the Telegraph Harbour Inn and Equestrian Centre! That's why, today, when there was no more work to be done on account of the snow, we made up things to do. Actually, we've been doing random things for a few days now...
Take for example this morning, adjusting the feed chart. We have two feed rooms (upper and lower barn) and one chart (upper barn) but two different scoops for the pellets. So, in order to 'idiot-proof' the barn, we decided that we needed to make the amounts clearer, so that someone who doesn't know what our system is, has no trouble figuring it out. One is a yogurt container, the other is a smaller feta cheese container. We figured the yogurt one was about 1.5 of the feta scoop. Of course, Sergio would not let us figure it by the grams listed on the actual containers, because he figured 750g of yogurt is not 750g of pellets. You know what? After several VERY Scientific experiments, involving scales, snowballs, lab coats over snow pants, pellets, human scales, cinaminnon buns, a few cups of tea, etc, we discovered that yes, indeed, yogurt does not equal pellets. Or, (YOG /= PEL) Feta cheese on the other hand has the same mass as pellets, in case you needed to know. (FETA = PELL)
We just finished the horrendous task of pulling my truck up the driveway. We tried towing it with the blue truck (too light) the tractor (too small) and finally the big red truck (just right). An hour later, my truck is awaiting me at the top of the hill, and now I'm just waiting for the 2:50 ferry. The 'we' here being myself, Katie the working student, Sergio and his wife Megan, Marty, and Strider (the wimpy doberman).
We have also found that riding the quad around in the snow at high speeds is productive! "Katie's a screamer and she can't help it" lol that is now a long standing joke around the farm! Other acitivities as of late also include attempting to get the tractors up (and down) the hill to the manure pile and back WITHOUT sledding down (or up) and massive snowball fights where people can get stuck in deep dark holes or become transformed into abominable snowmen at a moments notice.
*Sigh*
Did I mention I love this place? :)

One day late for Remembrance Day, but better late than never:

"The Soldier"~ by Charles M. Province

It is the soldier, not the reporter
who has given us the freedom of press.
It is the soldier, not the poet,
who has given us the freedom of speech.
It is the soldier, not the campus organizer,
who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.
It is the soldier, not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the soldier who salutes the flag,
who serves under the flag,
whose coffin is draped by the flag,
and who allows the protester to burn the flag.

We had to listen to the American National Anthem yesterday in nanaimo during the cerimonies. That pissed me off.
Goodbye to Seth Switherenbank Story. You were a great grandpa for me and so many others.

You know what's creepy?
Geese.
They march in lines at weird hours off the day/night. They hiss and glare and hate you all the time. Even when you're feeding them.
I hate geese. But I have to feed them.
It's been like a monsoon season here lately, the rain is REALLY coming down! Yesterday Katie and I both had on aussie oilskins, and still we were soaked through after only an hour outside. The arena is soup, and Sergio and I have a show to get ready for on sunday, which makes practicing hard. The show's at Queen Margarets in Duncan, I haven't competed there in a dressage show before, so it'll be an adventure!
Marty bought a Mercedes-Benz horse van from New york off ebay. It's purple. This is going to be fun lol he's flying out to get it on Tuesday, and it'll be back here in a few weeks.
Oy, time to brave the rain! (we all know I love it)

There aren't many mountian's on Thetis Island. There's a few hills and valleys, some dells and quarry's, but nothing bigger than about 100m.
Today, a blustery fall morning, I took a run down through the cemetary at the edge of Capenray Harbour. I had glanced at a tombstone there before, peacefully facing the water, at rest, but today I read the whole enscription:

Daniel Culver
Born 1952, Vancouver
Died 1993, K2, Pakistan

Daniel was the first Canadian to ever summit both Mount Everest and K2. The tombstone reads about his contribution to the preservation of the enviroment, etc, it's all very moving. However, what was written at the bottom was what struck me most:

"Whatever you can do or dream, you can, begin it;
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it;
Begin it now." -Goethe

I have had this quote posted on my fridge, up above my bed, out at the barn, all my life, and to read it today just hit a chord in me that hasn't been hit in a while; to see it there in all places (namely a small cemetary on a small island, both of which i had stubbled across) choosen as the last words for the life of this extrodinary man, made me ponder.

On another note, I am now addicted to sweet sweet rock climbing. Apparently, I'm quite a natural, and my arms and legs still hurt lol. So it's time to get addicted to another sport, yippee!! Bill's quite pleased that I enjoy it, and wants me to tag along some more. One day soon I'd like to get my Belayers ticket so I can be useful at the Romper Room haha.
I've changed my days off so that I work Sunday afternoon to Friday morning, which means I only get one full day off, but it also means I can get more work done during the week, and the new working student, Katie, doesn't have to be alone for so long out there.
Guy Fawkes day this weekend!!! YAY! Bonfire next door (right next to the Fire Dept lol)

Life is good.
Ok, life is good in some areas and maybe not quite in others.
Last week I took a half day on Wednesday and went down to Victoria to visit Brian and go with him to see IAN WRIGHT at Uvic. It was AWESOME ! I got to see the guy that I had grown up watching travel the world on TV!!! I asked him the last question of the evening, so technically I spoke to him, but Brian ACTUally got to go meet him the next day after i had gone home at MEC, where he was signing stuff and giving art prints and posters to people who brought in ticket stubs from the night before (Brian was kind enough to do this for me as well as himself, so I have loot to pick up!) Wow, run-on sentence!
In Thetis news, we have five new sport horses, 3 3yr old's, 1 5yr old, and a baby. Sergio Velez is here full time now and working with me riding, training, and it's great. I'm learning a lot from him, and we work well together. Leslie didn't work so well here, and last week we'let her go'. Nice girl, but I couldn't work with her, she was waaay too lazy, and we all felt the same about it.
Sergio is helping me to attain my level one EC certificate so I can coach more! This weekend I'll be back in Victoria doing my NCCP Part A, getting that part over and done with. I'm also trying to learn French, learn the piano, play the guitar, do pilates/yoga, go running, improve my riding, get all the barn work done, and feed the cat. It's busy. And that's my life in a nutshell for the first part of October.
Oy.
Oh yeah, and the military doesn't want me because I have a history of migraines headaches and they're afraid it'd happen again. I can still try to appeal it, but I'm waiting to see if I'm still this pissed about it in a month's time before I go after them with a passion. Leslie saw me crying after I had talked to CFRC on the phone and she gave me a hug and said "I don't know what to do, I've never had anybody not make it into the military before... do I get you a card?" lol

Observations over the past week... most are realizations that the quotes everyone has been quoting are true..

*Planning ahead works well, but the unexpected is much more fun.
*Patience is a talent, not a virture.
*Money isn't everything, but it certainly helps!
*Glad Cling Wrap only works if it's still in it's box.
*Emotional control isn't possible, at first.
*Laughter really, truly is the best medicine.
*I am happy in my own skin, without additives. But drinking is still fun.
*If you love your job you never work a day in your life.
*Sometimes death is the better option. (this relating to my grandmother's being in very very bad shape at Trillium Lodge, not wanting to kill myself :P)
*Getting away from it all can be wonderful, or horrible, or relaxing.

That's it for today. Farewell Jim Bass, sorry I didn't say goodbye.

This weekend was fun. I had lots of fun. Meet some new people, hung out and gardened in the sunshine at my step-grandparents house, saw my Aunt Brenda and talked Dressage. I actually went in and saw my grandmothers at Trillium Lodge: my Grandma walz is pretty well but my nani isn't. She's really far gone, and we all caught ourselves almost wishing the stroke had just taken her off the bat, because it's terrible to see her like this, and not knowing who we are or where she is. Such is life though.
Kyle still hasn't made contact with anybody yet, (uh, yo! we'd like to know you're alive!!) and although we're not together, I'd like to hear that he's alright over in Europe.
An old family friend, Jim Bass, passed away suddenly this week too. He and his wife were always so wonderful and so in love; we rented the ancient farm house on Allsbrook Road from them (it was passed down through Jim's family for years) and my dad, mom, and stepmom all went to school with both Jim and his wife Cheryl.
Despite upcoming funerals, a horrible break-up, i'm feeling better than I have in a long, long while. I'm so happy here on the island, and already getting to know ME a little bit better each day.
Ian Wright will be in Victoria on the 11th, and I'm hoping to buy tickets and take a few days off (10th and 11th) and hang out in Victoria, do my CF Fitness test and interview, and see Ian speak at UVIC. I'll be in Victoria for the weekend anyways, so that should be sweet! (Yay for Heather having a couch!!)
Ok, time to fit back into life here on the farm! :)

Well, I'm on Thetis! And kyle is somewhere over Canada right now. This blows. My job here is wonderful though, and everyone is fantastic!! I was bawling my eyes out last night after Kyle and i offically said goodbye on the phone, and Sue gave me a huge, great big hug. At least here I'm only a few hours away from everybody, although it still feels like I flew across the pacific on account of all the stress of this last week.
I've never felt this horrible emotion/relationship wise. Not even last year when winnipeg went to the gulf. This is much, much worse.

A new adventure to be planned:

G.G.A.A 2008

Ten guesses as to what the stands for! :D

It's been forever since I updated this damn thing, but everyone who reads it really just hears what's going on in my life all the time. But anyways...
Fall is here!! Time for some really big changes. Mainly Kyle and I parting ways. Which is horrible, but apparently the right thing to do. I still don't get it, i'm probably just too emotionally attached, unlike the other half.
I quit my job, well, today is my last day but I don't care. It's a night shift, and I'd rather hang out with Megan and Kaja tonight during the stag party. I've quit, and I've got to move on as soon as possible before I realize what's happening.
So it's off to Thetis Island! A job, a place to live, a nice laid back relaxed atmosphere, with some great people. Just not with the one great person I really want. Binky gets to come with me, so long as she gets along with the dogs and other cat. (Shouldn't be a problem).
We're out of our little place in Esquimalt on the 15th, then it's a wedding for megan and James, then I move to the island on the 18th, the 19th is my 21st birthday, and kyle leaves for Europe on the 20th.
Such is life, time to move on. This sucks.